Giving Mick Jagger a run for his money

ollie 10 months

Those lips! I’ve never had a dog with so much face before. He’s now 10 months old and is very happy, despite what his expression says.

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Monday Monday

The Confirmation girl loved her gift card AND her necklace. So that’s a big “Yay!”

Hey! I finally updated the side graphics to match the butterflies. I re-installed the regular WordPress search, as the Google search really didn’t work for this site. Tweaked the sidebar a bit. I’m trying write my own WP template to display 2 left sidebars. The new hostess pic is actually being recycled from my World of Warcraft blog on the Courier-Post site. (WM got me the hat last Christmas – in WoW, if a character has a quest for you they have a big gold exclamation point above their heads.) Remember Freezerburned? I do too. Now that I’m eating Smart Ones on a daily basis again, I may dust it off. Time to make another push toward total web domination. (I kid.)

And I added my Twitters (I can’t call them Tweets) to the side. It took me over a year, but I’m really having fun with Twitter now.

Currently reading: The Faith Club. Books on deck are Reading Lolita in Tehran and Girl with a Pearl Earring.

Currently drinking: Arizona Diet Green Tea. It’s been 10 days since I’ve had “The Dew.”

Currently beading: Nothing. I’m toying with the idea of trying to create an illusion necklace. I have the clear transite cord, a ton of beads and a book with detailed instructions. No reason why I shouldn’t at least try.

Currently coding: At work, I’m going to be converting an 8 page sales flyer into a mini website. It’s exciting! I also did a very cool banner that I’ll show you once it starts running on the site. It even uses PHP!

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Saturday Beadxtravaganza

In a moment of softness, I though that perhaps just a gift card to Hollister might not be enough for the confirmation girl tomorrow. I decided to add a personal touch and make a necklace as well.

I wanted something age appropriate, so I went looking on Google for a youthful style. I saw a cute necklace on a popular young teen starlet and decided to completely knock it off.

Presenting the “Smiley Virus:”

smiley_virus.jpg

It’s double stranded with size 8 beads in dark topaz and light pink, and 6mm rose quartz accents. The toggle clasp is sterling silver because it’s not nice to give a gift that’ll rot.

Enough about her, what about me? A few weeks back I found a neat eBay store that sells genuine gemstone bead for even cheaper than the bead stores near me. So I bought a strand of 6mm x 4mm flat turquoise oval beads. Today I strung them with black seed beads and black “E” beads, a black pendant and a non-silver hook clasp (I don’t care if my own stuff rots).

So I give you…”Sorta Southwest”:

turq_1.jpg

I made earrings to match with 24 gauge metal wire.

My jewelry photography leaves much to be desired. Most of the professional stuff I see isn’t photographed on top of a Netflix envelope or a plain white table. I really like the turquoise necklace, so it deserves something more special than a boring background. The photo needs some real southwestern flair. I don’t have a cactus and my dogs don’t resemble coyotes, so I had to make the best with what I had here.

think outside the bun!

Last night I made my first macramé hemp bracelet from a kit. It looks okay but is really scratchy and I don’t like the wood beads it came with. I’m going to do another one sometime soon with a few glass beads I have in my bead box.

**
By the way…this is day 8 without Mountain Dew. My morning cup of coffee has helped a LOT with keeping the caffeine-withdrawal headaches at bay. And I think I’m on a diet. I’m eating very sensibly for breakfast and lunches, having vegetables and fruit for snacks, and having half of whatever I’d normally eat for dinner. And yesterday I did an 18-minute yoga routine before work. I didn’t weigh myself at the beginning so all I’m looking for is go from a snug (pant size that I am now) to a loose (2 pant sizes down). So we’ll see how this goes.

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Over-the-hill Betty

My cousin’s daughter is being confirmed tonight at 7:30. I’m not going to be able to make the ceremony, because I work until 5:30 and believe it or not, going from here to home to get changed, grab WM, and then get to the church is going to take me more than 2 hours. This is New Jersey – we have traffic, especially on Friday nights.

They’re having a brunch on Sunday, and we’ll be attending that. In my family confirmation only means 1) no more religious education for the kid and 2) a party. I love the kid to pieces, but …she’s not going to become a nun and she’s not even mildly interested in matters of faith. I picked up a typical girly “congratulations on your confirmation Jesus loves you!” card. But the gift…what do you get today’s worldly 13-year-old girl? I’m going to assume that she’s not pining for a leather-bound bible and she’s not going to wear any cross jewelry.

So I tap into the 2% of me that still knows what the young’uns like and decide to screw the sentimentality, be the “cool” relative and get her a Hollister gift card. The kids like Hollister. So yesterday at lunch I swing by the mall and find Hollister.

Let me tell you, even in my youth, I was not cool enough to walk into Hollister. Nor did I have enough money. I now have the money, but the coolness? Not there.

Hollister in the Cherry Hill Mall looks like a beach house in the front, complete with porch. Once you pass the porch you can choose to walk the “Dude” way or the “Betty” way. I guessed I’m a “Betty” so there I went. And the music was LOUD. VERY loud! Booming loud. Loud with bands that think they’re really hip and emo and fresh but instead sound like Green Day did 15 years ago. I cannot hear a thing other than the music.

Greeter: Mmph, mmmmph mffsf… mphf.
Me: WHAT?!?!??!
Greeter: (yells) WELCOME TO HOLLISTER. BE SURE TO CHECK OUT OUR SWIM LINE.
Me: THANKS!!!

I navigate around the displays of tiny shorts and tiny teeshirts and find the cashier. She’s at the back, where “Dudes” and “Bettys” merge. (That’s hot!) She already knows it’s loud, so she starts yelling from the get-go.

Cashier: “CAN I HELP YOU?”
Me: “I’D LIKE A GIFT CARD PLEASE!”
Cashier: “SURE! THEY’RE ALONG THE FRONT HERE.”

She waves at a display, and it’s apparent that I get to choose my own card design. The design choices were…

  • Topless guy
  • Topless guy
  • Topless guy
  • Topless guy About to Make Out with a Girl
  • Topless guy Snuggling with a Girl

How do you know you’re getting older? You start yelling at strangers in Wegmans and in the very the same week initiate a conversation that goes like this:

Me: “EXCUSE ME!”
Cashier: “YES?”
Me: “DO YOU HAVE ANY CARDS WITH JUST HOLLISTER ON THEM? THIS IS FOR A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL!”
Cashier: “NO, SORRY!”

I ended up choosing “Topless guy Snuggling with a Girl,” as it seemed to be the most innocent. I exited without checking out the swim line.

I ended up stopping at Walmart on the way back to work. Saw a cute top for only $11.99, momentarily pondered the unhipness of Walmart clothing and bought it anyway. I’ve received 4 compliments on it already and I’ll probably wear it to the brunch.

So Sunday morning, this girl whom I held as a newborn will be opening up a “Jesus Loves You!” card and have a gift card sized piece of soft porn slide out into her lap. And she’ll love it and think I’m cool, as long as I don’t let on that this Betty is wearing Walmart couture.

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