I’m a weary girl these days. Work’s kicking my butt – we’re going on over a month now without that manager job being filled and I’m wearing down. I’m the only person at my company who knows how to do my job. That’s good for job security (well, not really) but it’s bad because if I dare take a day off, stuff piles up. I’ve been doing a lot of running around too on the nights and weekends and I’m feeling it. I’m worried about money — it’s rushing out of the checking account like an angry river.

When it goes over 95 degrees, the power goes off on the top 3 floors of our building. They’re looking into it, but it’s weird not knowing whether or not I’ll have electricity. I’ve been setting the iPhone alarm every night in case the clock radio cuts off. And then waking up every hour to make sure I know what time it is. Suffice it to say I haven’t been sleeping well, either.

I feel like I’m being pulled in a million directions even though I know I’m not.

Tomorrow night I have a vet appointment for Max to get his shots, and I expect to be chided for letting him go 5 months w/o getting a rabies booster. And for his super long nails. After that they’ll tell me he’s overweight and look at me disapprovingly about his teeth. Then charge me $250 for the pleasure of it all.

And I’ll pick up Misty’s cremains while I’m there. This may be uncouth to write about, but my vet charged me $272 for her euthanization and cremation. Is that over the top? It seems so. She was only 5 lbs. Maybe Super-Obama can reform veterinary care next.

But Wednesday night brings a fun outdoor concert with Mom. Then I’m staring at a lovely planless weekend. Two gorgeous blank squares on the calendar. Maybe I’ll sit by the pool and read. Maybe I’ll have a chance to play with my beads. Maybe I can play World of Warcraft for more than a half-hour. Maybe I’ll just crash on the sofa with cucumbers over my eyes and listen to Dave Matthews Band on repeat.

In the dark. :/

This week’s Friday Five topic is one near and dear to my heart: SLEEP. I love my sleep. I am a champion sleeper. I can sleep pretty much anywhere and through anything. It’s a gift!

Away we go!

1. How many hours’ sleep do you need in order to be at your best, and what’s the minimum you can get on a regular basis and still be functional?

To be my best, I’m an 8 hour girl. Used to be 10. But in order for me to get that 8 during the week, I have to be in bed by 10:30 and I’m usually wide awake at thet time, so I usually get about 6.5 hours.

The bare minimum I can have and be functional is 4 hours. I’ll be functional, but unhappy.

2. What’s your favorite sleeping position?

On my right side, with two artfully stacked pillows. I don’t like to be flat…ideally I’d be like this __/ but I don’t have bed pillows with enough gumption to get me to that angle. I sleep better on the sofa, if you can believe that.

3. What was the cause of your most recent difficulty sleeping?

Worry.

Sunday night I worried about getting back to work after furlough. Monday afternoon I received a call about some blood work I had done – my “thyroid” is “low” (that’s all I was told) and I have a followup appointment with my doctor this coming Monday. I don’t WANT to have a bum thyroid. I don’t WANT to have to start taking medicines to regulate it. I’m AFRAID to start mucking around with my body’s basic functions. I feel FINE. I AM fine. So I’ve been worried about that.

Also, I have two teachers in my life whom I care about greatly. One can’t find a teaching job and the other might be affected by the statewide cuts to school districts. I worry about both of them. I have a huge project I’m supposed to be working on at work that I can’t find the time to work on due to other things on my task list.

I am one writhing ball of worry right now, Mister Friday Five. It is a wonder and a marvel that I can actually converse with people right now.

4. When you can’t seem to drift off to sleep right away, what are some things you do to bring about sleep?

I love visualization. I imagine floating out of my window and down the nearby major road, looking down at all the little shops. I imagine being back here. I imagine the action-movie screenplay that’s in my head that I’ll never write because I have no idea how to write a screenplay. But it’s kick-butt.

5. When did you last doze off at an inappropriate time or in an inappropriate place?

Days before I quit being a manager here (still the right decision) I had to go to our corporate office for a meeting. It was 2006 and I was dealing with the separation/divorce & the impending job change. The meeting was held in a large auditorium and I dozed off in my seat. One of my manager buddies woke me up. It was VERY embarrassing!

***

Wt: 164.0. Down 16.4 pounds.

Dream: I woke up to find a coworker in bed with me. I had no idea he was there, as he snuck in after I went to sleep and nothing happened. WM was not pleased. Nor was I.

But…guh. It casts a small shadow on my trip to know they’ll be there. Because I’m genetically predisposed to worry, here is an incomplete list of the things that have been dancing through my mind. This is mostly so I can see how dumb I’m being.

• They will be lonely without us.
• They will be frightened and think we’re never coming back.
• They will be cold.
• They will be hot.
• They will be afraid of the flappy doorway that will let them go outside and play
• One of them will lick the Frontline spot on the other, get poisoned and die.
• There’s a sadistic employee there who loves kicking dogs.
• They will go on a hunger strike.
• There won’t be a “double” available (‘though we reserved one) so they’ll get split up into separate pens and they’ll be doubly lonely and doubly scared.
• Ollie’s groomer will call the SPCA on us because his “thumbnails” are starting to curl back on themselves and his fur is matted under his front legs.
• The place will burn down.

Seeing that list makes me want to crawl into a hole. It’s also why WM gave me a Mother’s Day card from the pets this year.