No no no no no. Leave the Sorcerer’s Apprentice alone!
24 Jun
(Warning: more profanity here than in the whole blog, less than what’s on a typical restroom wall)
Today, WM told me that before I had to get ready for work, I needed to Google “Sorcerer’s Apprentice Movie.”
Go ahead. Watch the trailer. I’ll wait.
What the hell, Disney? What the effing hell?
Why would you knowingly piss all over one of the most famous and brand-making images of your entire animation franchise?
Why would you tar the memory of this:
I once wanted this as a tattoo
By dressing up Nicolas Cage (?!??!?) as Harry Dresden and pairing him with a clone of 16-year-old Shia LeBoeuf for this pile of horseshit?
This shit ain't right.
There are two types of Disney fans: Those who know everything Walt would have wanted for his company even though they have never met him and those who roll their eyes at group 1. So help me, I don’t trot out Uncle Walt very often at all* but here goes:
Thank God I'm already dead.
WM: It can’t be worse than Haunted Mansion.
Me: @#^&#%^*&^@!^!!
WM: This is what everyone said about Pirates of the Caribbean.
Me: !$@$#%$!@$@%$#!
WM: But that movie had good actors. This has Nicolas Cage.
Me: @^%&^#@$%#&!!!!
What the hell is next? Lindsay Lohan as Ariel? Pete’s Dragon played by the GEICO gecko? Lindsay Lohan as Madame Mim?
When I’m sour at work today, you’ll all know why.
* I disapprove of the sales of Mickey Mouse branded drinking accessories, like shakers & martini glasses & jigs. I don’t think Walt would have wanted that. He’d have loved cigarette lighters though.
(Edited to remove an egregious use of an apostrophe. Bad me!)
