LadyGypsy.net – the blog of Kimberly Dowd of New Jersey

As many of you know, the stupid reality show that I am hooked on the most is Dancing with the Stars.

I broke up with it temporarily in Season 8 because of the skank and ex-con factor.

I cautiously watched it in season 9 and truly enjoyed it thanks to Kelly Osbourne, Mya, and of ALL people, Donny Osmond.

ABC announced the “stars” of Season 10 last night. Let’s have a look!

Pamela Anderson – former Baywatch babe, PETA advocate and star of quite possibly the most famous celebrity sex tape in existence. In her prime, she was gorgeous. I’m cautiously looking forward to her looking pretty again. I don’t see her going far, though.

Shannen Doherty – None other than THE Brenda Walsh from Beverly Hills 90210. Girl has a work ethic and an attitude. This makes me happy.

Chad Ochocinco – Football player with a big personality. Had is last name changed so that he could have Ochocinco (eight five, his number) on his NFL jersey. That’s some chutzpah.

Buzz Aldrin – Yes, THAT Buzz Aldrin. The second guy on the moon! He’s 80 years old! He has no shot at the mirror ball trophy (dude, you walked on the MOON, why are you doing THIS?) but apparently has a moon lander full of guts!

Kate Gosselin – Reality show veteran, uterus to 8 and fame whore who snottily drank water in front of her thirsty daughter. Now that Jon and Kate + 8 is now [(Jon and Kate + - Jon]/2 she needs a paycheck and another dose of fame. Go away, Kate. At least now I’ll have a bathroom break in the show.

Erin Andrews – ESPN broadcaster, America’s Sexiest Sportscaster of 2007 and 2008, and unfortunate victim of a pervert with a spycam. I don’t know much else about her, but I admire her for not shrinking away when the unauthorized video of her splashed all over the internet. She pressed charges and saw the case through to the end. Good on her.

Nicole Scherzinger – Lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls. She’s not a stranger to the DWTS stage, because PCD performed Sway there a few years back.

Aiden Turner – Former member of All My Children. English accent. Mom and I saw him at Super Soap Weekend at Walt Disney World a few years back. He dropped his pants on stage. The audience went wild. That’s about all we need to know.

Niecy Nash – Comedian, cast member of Reno 911 and host of Clean House.

Jake the Bachelor – The guy who was the star of the Bachelor season that ended last night. He’s pretty. (shrug)

Evan “Ringer” Lysecek – Vancouver 2010 Men’s Figure Skating GOLD MEDALIST! As in … just last week! Dude, take a few weeks off or something! I think Evan will run away with this because of his, oh, I dunno, YEARS of training to move his body athletically to music in front of crowds and judges? Basically my same beef that I had with Kristi Yamaguchi. And he’s partnered with my fave female pro EVER, the lovely Anna Trebunskaya. This trophy’s yours to lose, Anna.

All in all, not a typical recent DWTS season. There are a few tokens here and there (Buzz – token old guy; Evan – token Olympian; Pam – token former supermodel; Chad – token NFL) but even the tokens break the token mold.

Season 10 starts on March 22. I’m looking forward to it. How about you?

Sesame Street was a staple of my childhood…I learned so much from it and somewhere I have the Original Cast record. On vinyl (oldoldamsoold)

This was always one of my favorites:

Thank you for everything, gang, and here’s to 40 more!

…just turn around now, ’cause you’re not welcome anymore…

Dancing with the Stars, I’m breaking up with you.

I know it sounds like a surprise, but it’s been a long time in coming. The bloom started to fade when Hélio Castroneves beat out Mel B. for the golden disco ball in 2007. Sure, Maksim choreographed a lame freestyle for Mel, but it became apparent throughout the season that your judges were favoring the adorable ingenue Julianne Hough when dishing out the scores.

I stopped watching the Kristi Yamaguchi season well before she won. There was no suspense there as she dominated from week 1. Call my cynical, but it may have been the decades of Olympic-level choreography, timed jumps and spins, and performing in front of a live crowd that gave her an edge.

Season 7 left me cold as well. I knew Warren Sapp wasn’t the best dancer, but he entertained me ten times more then Brooke. Then again, I knew Brooke would win because she was paired with Derek. Since Julianne and Mark won, the third member of their little clique couldn’t be far behind. Cloris Leachman made me uncomfortable. Kim Kardashian made me feel itchy.

And with all of that, here is what you offer me for Season 8:

Belinda Carlisle - GoGos lead singer, whom I loved when I was 15. Token middle-aged woman.
David Alan Grier – actor, token comedian
Jewel - folk pop country singer and former reality show hostess. Stunt casting at its finest because of…
Ty Murray – Jewel’s husband and rodeo star
Shawn Johnson – token Olympic gold medalist
Lil’ Kim – rapper, actress, ex-con
Gilles Marini – the naked guy in the Sex and the City movie, token model-type
Nancy O’Dell – entertainment reporter for Access Hollywood
Steve-O – host of Jackass. Best known for voluntarily stapling his scrotum to his leg.
Denise Richards – crazy ex-wife of crazy Charlie Sheen & reality show “star”
Chuck Wicks – C-list country singer with only 3 released singles to his name. Why’s he here? Oh! He’s Julianne’s (who’s back for her 2nd or 3rd very last season, I lost count) real life boyfriend. Aww. Stunt casting!
Steve Wozniak – token geek billionaire and token fat guy rolled into one. I fear my iPhone’s going to come to life tomorrow night and start voting on its own
Lawrence Taylor – thrice-jailed token NFL player, former coke addict and admitted tax evader

I wasn’t thrilled at the cast at all, but I was willing to give the first episode a shot. Then Jewel and Nancy O’Dell get injured (seriously injured!) and drop out. Their replacements?

Holly Madison – former Playboy model and best known for sharing Hugh Hefner with 2 other women. On a reality show.
Melissa Rycroft – Proposed to and then dumped by the Bachelor. Beat out 24 other women for that honor. On a reality show.

I’m heartsick that they couldn’t find female replacements that achieved something in their “star” turn other than shaking their thing enough to get a man to choose them over other women.

So taking in consideration all of the above: the scofflaws, the couple-y stunt casting, the scrotum stapler and the preponderance of vapid reality-show women, we’re done.

Take your sequins and heels and get out.