This is the official AP headline for the story about Taylor Swift’s quest to win as many awards for “smooching on the porch swing” songs as she can. I know this because many news outlets kept the same headline.

My list of grievances is only five bullet points long.

• Believe it or not, Taylor Swift is 21 years old. That makes her a woman.
• Jason Aldean is 34 years old. Very much a man.
• Blake Shelton is 35 years old. That makes him a man, not a boy.
• Brad Paisley is 38 years old. Man!
• Keith Urban is 43 years old. That makes him a man.

What’s wrong with calling ourselves by the adult terms we earned? I have no problem calling myself a woman and I’d hope that Keith Urban would call himself a man.

Anyway, in my travels, I found this ad:

You all pretty much know I’m not a reader of Dooce’s blog*. And I know a lot of you are. And that’s cool. But even you have to admit that “Family Fun Articles” and “Dooce” is a pretty big stretch.

I mean, if you’re looking for fun things to do with your kids you’re going to French Toast Girl or Secret Agent Josephine or … another crafty mom blog. There are hundreds of them.

Dooce isn’t going to tell you how to make Play-doh from scratch. She’s going to tell you how much Grey Goose she drank when she found some store-bought Play-doh that was ground into her fair-trade Persian-yarn looped rug while she was traveling to speak on a panel. Then she’ll link to the rug on some website and you’ll see how much she paid for it. Then she’ll post a highly touched up black and white photo of her left eye and piss off the LDS in one fell swoop. That’s blog talent. But it’s not Family Fun.

Which leads me to wonder what in the hell they were thinking at McD’s when they decided to create an ad that had to spider through YEARS of archives (her daughter is 6 now) to find four blog posts that may mention “fun” in them?

This isn’t Dooce’s fault – I almost feel badly for her because it’s like her name and image are being grossly misused to hawk Chicken McNuggets.

(Then I think about the dump trucks of cash her blog brings in and I don’t feel so bad.)

It’s the fault of the marketers who completely don’t understand the online culture – who think that you can just find the most famous blogger out there and they’d be a great fit for whatever you’re selling.

Or the ones who won’t run ads on the local news section of the paper because they want to target women.

Or the ones who pay big bucks to cookie my computer and run World of Warcraft ads on every site I visit – blissfully ignorant of the fact that I got that cookie in the first place because I visited WoW fan sites BECAUSE I play WoW so … showing me an ad beseeching me to try World of Warcraft free for 10 days isn’t going to work.

It’s a waste of money.

Everytime a woman clicks that McD’s ad and goes to Dooce and says, “That blog McD’s sent me to wasn’t about Family Fun” and stops clicking on McD’s ads altogether…

Everytime a woman reading about the town council meeting doesn’t see that breast cancer screening ad because it ran only on the food section…

Everytime World of Warcraft looks at their reports and puzzle over why the clickthrough rates are tiny, even though they have the best targeting they could possibly buy…

…someone gets the idea in their head that online advertising doesn’t work.

It does work. It just requires some thought.

*I used to be, long ago. We grew apart.