LadyGypsy.net – the blog of Kimberly Dowd of New Jersey

They laid off 12 at the C-P today, so I’m a bit blue.

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I caught wind of the rumors last week, so that’s why I haven’t been very bloggy. I’m blue because I thought this was all behind us.

And yeah yeah, I’m thrilled to still be employed. Or am I? I can’t take much more of the uncertainty and dodging bullets. I have to DO something about this hot mess.

Or, take it this way – at the end of the day our HR dept sent out “helpful” pdfs about supporting your laid off coworkers and coping with your own survivor’s guilt.

I read the guilt one because I struggle with that a lot. The anecdotal woman in the article survived round after round of layoffs. I shit you not…this is how the article SENT TO US BY HR ends…

**
Every day for months, real estate agent Beckstrom wondered when the end would come — and crossed her fingers that it wouldn’t.

Just before Thanksgiving, it did. Bank officials foreclosed on the ailing housing project and Beckstrom and a few final employees lost their jobs.

“People from our home office came and packed up all our stuff,” she said. “It was very, very emotional.”

Now she’s working with headhunters, trying to figure out how to keep her home — and to explain to herself why she stayed so long. (emphasis mine)

“With all your heart, you just cling to that hope that something will happen,” Beckstrom said. “I was really clinging to that hope.”

**

Okeydoke. Message heard. Yeesh.

A lifetime ago, I took two Disney cruises. The cruise ship had a spa which included such amazing indulgences as scented showers and heated ceramic-tile loungers. I cannot impress upon you how amazing it is sit in a steam room, then take a minty shower and lie on a heated chair to dry off, surrounded by peaceful music and warm towels.

While I sat in my lounge chair and reveled in my pre-divorce, pre-recession lucky ducky life, I sipped upon water that had oranges in it. It was refreshing and seemed so decadent in its simplicity. But how often do you really cut orange slices and put it into a pitcher? Me? Never.

Until last week.

I bought an infuser pitcher off of QVC (I know, I know) and the day it came in, I was off to the grocery store to buy oranges.

And while I can’t replicate a ceramic tile lounger and peppermint extract in my shower leaves much to be desired, I can sit here and sip on ice cold orange-water and smile.

***
So I’ve spent the last 3 days roleplaying in my mind exactly how I’d act if I was let go. Some may say that I’ll bring the negativity to me by doing that, but these exercises prevent me from sobbing like an orphan or going all William Wallace on the office. Sometimes I need a script.

I don’t have the money saved up that I should and I don’t know on which day this week the axe will fall. But I have a great guy, a great family, awesome friends and a pitcher of orange water.

Bring it.

My eyebrows: I can’t find my tweezers. Have I mentioned that since I hit 36 some eyebrow hairs grow straight out from my head instead of laying to the side like its peers? Cosmo magazine has not adequately prepared me for my mid-30s.

My face: I had a very nice Proactiv/Hope in a Jar regimen going twice a day. Now my zits and rosacea have come back with a vengeance. Must nip that in the bud.

My diet: Wawa sandwiches for breakfast? Sure! Frosting as a side dish? Totally! Pizza? Make that pizzas, plural.

Christmas: I should have lights and the tree up by now. We did get a new addition to our Christmas village, though. I’ll show you that later.

Baking: I need to find easy cookie recipes, where I can refrigerate dough in advance and bake over the weekends or two.

Fun plans for the future: I went the whole of 2009 without traveling (sans BlogHer). WM wants to go to Disney in spring. Mom wants to take a cruise in summer. And I still haven’t been down to see Dad’s place in FL.

Car: On 2 occasions now, about 10 days apart, it didn’t start. I tried again, and it didn’t start. I tried again and it almost started. I let it rest for 5 minutes, tried again, and it started just fine. It last did this Black Friday. It’s been running fine since. Any ideas on this?