Filler song is “Johnny B. Goode.” Go Johnny go, indeed.

Rep. Tammy Baldwin from Wisconsin takes the stage, and talks about health care. My insurance premiums have doubled as well, but I don’t think Kerry will care about me. Tammy’s old school. She’s naming people in her speech.

“Just the other day, I was talking to Jimmy Umbro back in Wisconsin, and he said that because of GWBush, he’s getting more splinters than ever! Well, Jimmy, John Kerry will BAN unsanded wood!”

After Baldwin’s shout-outs to the sick people of Wisconsin, Rep Bob Menenendez, billed as the highest ranking Hispanic in Congressional History, takes the floor. Hey! He’s from NJ! He’s wanting the UN to help us out with our … um … crusades. A ‘real coalition,’ sez Roberto. OOo… he says Kerry has a plan to WIN the war on Terror. Geez. You cannot win a war on terror. EVER. EVER!

Alright. I had enough. Maybe I’ll be back when Clinton returns.

Gov. Bill Richardson is the Convention Chair. I get stressed when I have to order enough donuts and coffee for a meeting! Imagine having to plan a convention?

He introduces Jimmy Carter who, after a video tribute, takes the stage to “Georgia.” I saw him on an episode of King of the Hill last week.

He speaks about how Kerry will do well. And how we’ve pissed off other countries. He also speaks as if his dentures are slipping. Jimmy gets a standing ovation. I don’t remember much about his presidency. He’s done a lot of good in his post-prez years. I wonder if Mr. Bill will do the same?

Wait? Barbara Boxer? She’s coauthor of the INDUCE Act. Boo! Booo! The 9 Senate Democratic Women take the stage, and they almost all have the same hair. Barbara Mikulski speaks. She’s a spitfire! She wants Social Security to not depend on the Bull of the Bush administration or the Bear of the Market. Oh, Barbara…Bush didn’t do a damn thing with Social Security! I voted for him *because* I wanted him to dink around with Social Security. In any case, I’m impressed with Mikulski. Wonder why nobody ever tapped her to be VeePee?

Children nervously line up to sing, and I take a break to clear off the TV tray.

Bwah! They’re singing This Land!!! My God..I wonder if the planners know of the Flash movie that’s being emailed all over!

After being introduced as the one who won the Popular Vote, Al Gore takes the stage. He seems overwhelmed by the crowd…putting his hand up to his chest like he was about to cry. Or spontaneously reboot.

More with the “I should have won.” Where in the hell did that accent come from? He sure as heck didn’t have that twang four years ago!

“Did you really get what you expected from the candidate you voted for 4 years ago?”

Damn, no, Al. Damn no.

I’m having Chicken in Garlic Sauce from Red Lantern. Steamed rice. Egg Roll. Dasani water.

These four years have done MUCH for Al’s demeanor. He seems so charismatic now! And if I can look remotely like Tipper when I get older, I’d be a happy girl indeed.

Hol-ee! He thanked Bill Clinton!

I’m watching this on C-SPAN, so I’m spared horrible commentary and commercials. Unfortunately, there is some gospel troupe singing a Kerry song to the tune of “Proud Mary.” That will NOT end up on my iPod, if I get one.

“Rollin, rollin, rollin on the River” ==> “Makin, Makin, Makin a big Difference.”

Example: Thor and I got a tax break thanks to GWB. Perhaps the only good thing for us that’s come out of his reign. Kerry’s site (which I presume speaks for Kerry) calls this a tax cut for the wealthy.

Let me get this straight…multi-millionaire Kerry and multi-millionaire Edwards are calling Thor and I “the wealthiest Americans?”

He mentions it on his education page. Apparently, the money that Thor and I got back should have been used to help other people’s kids pay for college. Who paid for our college?

On the healthcare page, he calls us the “wealthiest among us“. Apparently, Thor and I are supposed to pay for other peoples’ health care. And our own as well.

We’re also called wealthy on Kerry’s Americans with Disabilities page. Apparently, Thor and I are supposed to be funding the Department of Transportation so that Tour Bus Operators can be brought into compliance so that the disabled can go on bus vacations. (mind boggle)

And on this scary page our “big tax cut(s) for the wealthy” should go toward “Creating an Army of Patriots” whatever the HELL that’s supposed to mean.

Why are all Republicans goose-stepping right-wing, love-it-or-leave-it nutjobs? Why are all Democrats radical daydreamers who constantly tax and malign the independent and self-sufficient majority of Americans so that they can play Pygmalion to a few?

Voting for this Kerry yo-yo is going to suck. Especially for us “wealthy.”