Once I was done, I went into my quarters and walked by displays of my jewelry². There was smoke coming out from a sweatshirt. Turns out my iPhone was plugged into the wall and inside the sweatshirt³. I put the fire out and my tooth hurt⁴ so I went to the dentist.

Who was an ex-boyfriend of mine. He told me I looked better now than I did when I was younger and that I was the loveliest person he’s ever known and why did I come back into his life a week before he was getting married?⁵. Me: “Because my tooth hurts.” Then he proceeded to create a filling for my tooth with copper wire.

After the filling I went back to riding my cow.

¹ Yesterday I was talking with a coworker about the local counties’ 4-H fairs.
² I’m considering opening an Etsy shop.
³ My 3GS gets REALLY warm when it charges.
⁴ My teeth have been sensitive lately.
⁵ Obviously, my subconscious is my biggest fan.

Dream:
I meet Karina Smirnoff from Dancing with the Stars and admire the new short-short hairdo she’s sporting. I admire it so much that I get my hair chopped in the same style, and end up looking like Ellen DeGeneres. (Lovely funny woman, not the hair for me.)

This is very bad. Family and friends are literally YELLING at me because of my stupid hair. I meet Karina in the street again, and notice her hair is long and curly.

“Hey…what happened to that haircut?” I asked. “It looked so good on you that I had THIS done.”

Karina looks at me in disgust and replies, “It was a wig.”

Fail.

Here’s the entry for my brother:

My point was proven, by the way, because he never mentioned my “blogging” about that. Ha!

Anyway, I’m happy to announce that John & Kristen are (finally) engaged and will be married sometime next year.

Which means two things:

1) I have GOT to lose at LEAST 35 lbs by some undetermined date. Obamarms optional. Note to self: tapeworm.

2) I have to make pretty cupcakes for Sunday, after which I shall commence with list item 1.

Congratulations, you two!!

**
Dream:
I’m obsessed with the Jim & Pam wedding on The Office. Obsessed to the point where I’m collecting Pam dolls and am trying to create a replica Pam wedding dress on a mannequin in my living room. I think this was as close to a nightmare as I’ve been in a while.

Morning in South Jersey

Why promising?

Because at work, if things continue to go well, I’ll be where I should be on my Task List by the end of the week. Except for that huge project due 10/31 that I haven’t started. Haven’t even looked at it. But I’ll take the fall (or be gleefully pushed under the bus) for that when the time comes.

Promising for other things, too. Nonbloggable for a bit, though. Bear with me. No, I’m not pregnant.

Dreams:

1), I have to ride on a rope swing and crash through a plate glass window. I do so on the 3rd try. The key was apparently to ball up really tiny on the rope swing so that my body doesn’t absorb all the pressure of impact. The energy is transferred to the window pane instead. (apparently my brain remembers some physics from years ago)

2) We sign up for a “World of Warcraft” cake decorating class. The first workshop is on how to pipe an orc onto a cake. We can’t find anyplace to keep the dogs, so we get a pet friendly hotel and bring them with us

September marked Ollie’s 2-year-mark with us, and like magic something went off in his brain and he realized there’s a life above him. So now if I’ll be sitting on my chair he’ll walk over, put his two front paws on my chair and get completely excited about seeing what’s on my desk. Weird little dog.

It’s hard to believe that Max is 7 or 8 now and the only sign he shows of slowing down is that he lies down more. Otherwise he’s scheming ways to swipe the cat food without us looking or engaged in knock-down, drag-out, face-eating brawls with Ollie. He’s smaller than Ollie but he holds his own!

walkwalkwalkwalkwalkwalkwalk

Dreams:

1) giGANTic zit in my face and I had to go to work because I had no mire sick days left.

2) World of Warcraft is launching a new dungeon soon. That part is true. In my dream we got to tour the new dungeon. There were souvenir maps, placards indicating where the bad guys would be, and cake & coffee.

I have always had amazing dreams. They are vivid and interesting and rarely frightening. Here’s last night’s dreams:

1) I am able to create website designs by waving my hands in front of me and “painting” large swatches of color in the air. Two fingers together draw a navigation bar. A flick of the wrist creates a curve unparalleled by anything I can do in Photoshop.

2) I am in the neighborhood I grew up in. A former coworker is walking down the street, shirtless and crying. He’s coming back from work.

I ask him why he’s crying, and he tells me his marriage ended. I feel for him – I’ve been there. My mom lives nearby, so I invite him to her place for coffee and a chance to calm down.

We walk to my mom’s house, which is actually my grandmother’s rowhome. There are chalk drawings on the sidewalk, drawn by me as a child.

Mom’s still at work. WM is a bit suspicious of the fact I have brought home a shirtless, crying man. I assure him this is a friend thing only.

Friends and coworkers begin to arrive under the assumption that I’m throwing a party at Mom’s. This concerns me, but I promised my friend coffee.

Mom has a weird coffee machine that grinds the beans for you. However, it’s a tedious 18-step process and the ground coffee looks like birdseed.

I’m growing anxious as:
a) the place is now filled with people, and Mom’s going to be pissed when she comes home from work
b) WM is now pretty darn pissed about shirtless guy
c) I cannot make coffee, and the coffee is the key to making everything better.

My cat, Charlie, woke me up out of this dream, as

Here is this week’s Friday 5 – Midsummer Nights’ Dreams

1. What are some recurring dreams you’ve had?
Definitely the apocalypic dreams. I’m alone after some crazy event wipes everybody I know out. Then I end up becoming either a machine-gun wielding operative or a survivalist. I’m never afraid in the dreams though. Also, I have a recurring dream (although I’m usually half-asleep at the time) that a spider drops on me from the ceiling. Then I wake up, yelling that there is a spider in the bed and slapping at the blankets.

Admit it, you SO want to sleep with me now, right?

What’s weirder…my brother says the same spider dream happens to him. I wonder what the hell happened when we were kids.

2. What is the significance of dreams in telling you about yourself?
Based on my dreams, which are usually quite vivid and unique, I have an amazing imagination.

3. How do you feel after you’ve had one of THOSE dreams?
Tired. Next question.

4. What was the last dream you remember?
Last night I dreamt I was a Princess, the daughter of Queen Elizabeth, and I had to organize London’s largest blood drive. But Thursday night’s dream was much better: I dreamt that we had a happy hour at a bowling alley called Bruce’s. It was in the woods – there were frogs outside. There was a tournament/promotion, much like … wait … I can’t remember the name of it.* Anyway, in my dream we had to bowl in socks and I had to pick up a 1-2-4-5-7-8 spare to win the big money. It was the last frame of the event and naturally, I picked up the spare. However, the alley manager said that the 1 pin wasn’t loaded, and I only got credit for the 2-4-5-7-8. So no money for me. He pointed out a disclaimer that the alley isn’t responsible for mis-setting of pins. Much like how casinos will not pay out if a slot machine malfunctions. I yelled at the manager and threw my shoes at him. I was summarily kicked out.

5. When did you last dream about something that later happened as you dreamt it?
I don’t think that’s ever happened. I’ve had real life come darn close to some of my more mundane dreams, but I’ve never had an exact match. Which is good since I don’t know how to pitch a tent, shoot a gun or bowl in socks.

~~~
On Wednesday I received a jury duty summons. To the house where I no longer live (and the house which BvP is doing a kick-butt job renovating.**) And to my married name, which I no longer bear. Which is always nice to see that the County is up to date with its info. I’ve been summoned every 2 or 3 years since I turned 18. Maybe this time I’ll get on a jury! Yes, I’m one of THOSE who enjoy jury duty. At best I get on a jury and decide someone’s fate. At worst I sit, drink coffee and read and/or do crossword puzzles all day. What a hardship. I wish I could be a professional juror.

I’ve been slogging through my week waiting for the weekend. Poor me with a 4-day week to begin with. Tonight I’m going to Happy Hour at Taylors with a bunch of people from work. It’s been almost a YEAR since I’ve been out with everyone. With the events that have transpired at work over the last year, by Friday people just want to go home. I hope there’s a good turnout – I’m in the mood to have a little fun!

*Back in high school and college I used to go bowling a lot. (I was a Varsity Bowler in High School, another reason why you want to sleep with me!) Late at night they had a promotion where they’d turn on the blacklights and load neon colored pins into the alleys. There was usually a DJ on duty spinning (yes, spinning, shut up) the latest hits, and if you got a strike when the neon pin was the 1-pin, you won money. There was a name to this fiasco…and it’ll come back to me eventually.

**Seriously, the living room, basement and upstairs bedrooms are completely redone. The living room now has a 40-some inch wall-mount TV, with a freaking 6 speaker Bose surround sound 5.1 system. Genuine marble surrounding the fireplace. Gorgeous new sofa and new carpet. The old 70′s paneling is down and the walls are now yellow and red. Obviously, I was holding him back.