LadyGypsy.net – the blog of Kimberly Dowd of New Jersey

Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones from Ohio has a tough act to follow. She lauds Barbara Jordan. She starts hopping all over Bush’s record of sending jobs overseas. Wait…it’s coming! Yay! I’m a “have and a have-more” since I got a tax cut. Her job was to push Kerry’s economic plans.

Filler song is “Johnny B. Goode.” Go Johnny go, indeed.

Rep. Tammy Baldwin from Wisconsin takes the stage, and talks about health care. My insurance premiums have doubled as well, but I don’t think Kerry will care about me. Tammy’s old school. She’s naming people in her speech.

“Just the other day, I was talking to Jimmy Umbro back in Wisconsin, and he said that because of GWBush, he’s getting more splinters than ever! Well, Jimmy, John Kerry will BAN unsanded wood!”

After Baldwin’s shout-outs to the sick people of Wisconsin, Rep Bob Menenendez, billed as the highest ranking Hispanic in Congressional History, takes the floor. Hey! He’s from NJ! He’s wanting the UN to help us out with our … um … crusades. A ‘real coalition,’ sez Roberto. OOo… he says Kerry has a plan to WIN the war on Terror. Geez. You cannot win a war on terror. EVER. EVER!

Alright. I had enough. Maybe I’ll be back when Clinton returns.

After chasing Max down (he ran off with a pair of scissors) I settle in for the next event. The crowd is chanting for Kerry. The delegates are a really unattractive group of people. The “Tennesee Waltz” plays, and it’s cute watching people try to sing along when they don’t know the words.

Gov. Bill Richardson is the Convention Chair. I get stressed when I have to order enough donuts and coffee for a meeting! Imagine having to plan a convention?

He introduces Jimmy Carter who, after a video tribute, takes the stage to “Georgia.” I saw him on an episode of King of the Hill last week.

He speaks about how Kerry will do well. And how we’ve pissed off other countries. He also speaks as if his dentures are slipping. Jimmy gets a standing ovation. I don’t remember much about his presidency. He’s done a lot of good in his post-prez years. I wonder if Mr. Bill will do the same?

Alright, already. I’m voting for Kerry. Since I desperately want to LIKE the guy, I decided to drop in on his party. And take more abuse about my super-wealthy tax cut.

After being introduced as the one who won the Popular Vote, Al Gore takes the stage. He seems overwhelmed by the crowd…putting his hand up to his chest like he was about to cry. Or spontaneously reboot.

More with the “I should have won.” Where in the hell did that accent come from? He sure as heck didn’t have that twang four years ago!

“Did you really get what you expected from the candidate you voted for 4 years ago?”

Damn, no, Al. Damn no.

I’m having Chicken in Garlic Sauce from Red Lantern. Steamed rice. Egg Roll. Dasani water.

These four years have done MUCH for Al’s demeanor. He seems so charismatic now! And if I can look remotely like Tipper when I get older, I’d be a happy girl indeed.

Hol-ee! He thanked Bill Clinton!

I’m watching this on C-SPAN, so I’m spared horrible commentary and commercials. Unfortunately, there is some gospel troupe singing a Kerry song to the tune of “Proud Mary.” That will NOT end up on my iPod, if I get one.

“Rollin, rollin, rollin on the River” ==> “Makin, Makin, Makin a big Difference.”