LadyGypsy.net – the blog of Kimberly Dowd of New Jersey

Oh hai! Did I mention lately that I’m retying the knot this year? Or tying the knot again? WM has wanted this for a LONG time and I’ve played the part of the gunshy partner.

After I said yes, I decided to take Ben Frankin’s advice (if you live in or near Philadelphia, Ben Franklin is your bro) and make up a list of pros and cons for tying the knot. This is written out long hand in a notebook, but since I have ax-murderer handwriting, I’m retyping so you can read it.

Pros:

• Life w/ WM
• Legitimize Charlie, Max & Ollie.
• A real anniversary
• I won’t be an unwed hobo
• He’ll stop asking me all the time to get married
• State-paid healthcare when I eventually get laid off
• I won’t be a chubby single woman
• I’m not getting any younger
• I can put the gory, creepy Netflix account in his name (He loves horror movies. The Netflix account is in my name. Therefore Netflix thinks I love the SAW series and that’s hard for me to swallow.)
• Our WoW guild and all of our neighbors already think we’re married.

Cons:

• G-D name change rigmarole AGAIN! Seriously. I still get mail with the Burbermille name.
• Planning a wedding, no matter how teeny, blows.
• If this fails, I am one step closer to becoming Dale Evans. (Did you know America’s cowboy sweetheart was married four times?)
• WM is a DB.
• I’ll be a chubby bride.
• This Doctor Who thing of his. And the zombie shows. And all the sci-fi he likes.

The list confirmed that my “yes” answer was a good one.

The image above is my doodle on the page, a (bad) recreation of the evil bride in Disney’s Haunted Mansion attraction at WDW. Yes, that’s an ax. I bet her handwriting is even worse than mine!

There were no fireworks, no scary scoreboard proposals, no ring-in-a-cupcake shenanigans.

Just a nervous stammered yes from me to a question he asked a while ago. Gunshy, I demurred for a long time.

I demurred for too long. Because life is precious, but fleeting and all-too-short.

So I’m getting back on the bicycle-built-for-two with a silent prayer that we’ll do a better job at steering around the potholes that will undoubtedly crop up.

First point of order is a ring.

The first thing people do is look for a ring, so I’ve been rotating my current collection onto my ring finger. I’ve never ever been into gigantic bling. I want something small with a white gold or silver setting. It doesn’t even have to be a diamond. And I definitely don’t want it to break the bank.

Our second task is to choose a date. We’re talking about a simple courthouse ceremony in early July, with the required WDW honeymoon afterward.

Naturally, TheKnot.com has LOTS of ideas on their second weddings board, which I would have named FrayedKnot or RetiedKnot or WhyKnot.

Finally, I have to call E! about sponsoring the whole thing. I can guarantee we’ll last longer than 72 days.

Hey, at least the pets will be legitimate now!

Zuckerberg-approved.

Not amused.

***

WM: This one thought “Rosetta Stone” was a famous female Pharaoh.
Me: (laughs) Rosetta Stone is a famous Egyption R&B singer.
WM: (glare)
Me: (squawking) Ra and his boy Ra Junior! // were walking down the silty Nile one day!! Aaa—ooo!