Put your paws up.

You’d think we’d have a cake or steak, but although I love Ollie tremendously, he’s a dog and has no idea of the passing of time. He did get extra scritches and nose-smooches, though.

He still has his puppylick, though!

Durr. Derp.

1. What’s in need of a good cleaning?
Max. Seriously. He needs a bath. Ollie had a grooming appointment a few weeks back and he is so snuggly and sweet and shorn. Max looks like a homeless Ewok.

2. What’s your idea of good, clean fun?
The TV program “Wipeout” which cracks me up every single Thursday. It’s funny, but not in a mean way.

3. How clean is your driving record?
Right now it’s completely clean. I have a lead foot so I’ve received my share of speeding tickets through the years. I haven’t had one since I lived in my Voorhees apartment and was still working the 5:30am – 2:00pm schedule. So…2001 or 2002. I miss that schedule, by the way.

4. When did you last make a clean escape?
I never do. Seriously. The people I work with, frankly, can slip out easily. “Oh yeah…I have a, uh, sales call. In … the town where I live. At, uh, 4:45pm. So, uh, I’m heading there now and I’ll TRY to come back but, you know, traffic.” Me? I’m the one being emailed at 4:58pm with a problem.

5. What are your feelings about dirty language?
I used to be so uptight about it all. Now all of my uptightness has been tied to one foul and dirty four-letter word which begins with “c” and if you say it, I turn into a ball of raging and angry fury.

Like most dogs, Ollie is a creature of habit. Every morning when I come out of the shower and head to the bedroom to finish getting ready, Ollie grabs a tennis ball and follows me in. As much as I’d love to play with him, I can’t. So he brings in a second ball in order to get his point across.

Play with me.

See that clock? I start work at 8:30. Yeah.

Once Ollie realizes that I won’t be tossing the ball, he decides to have fun solo. Which involves flopping on the bed.

Feel free to toss this ball.

Then when I sit on the bed to put my shoes on, he turns the cute meter to 11.

You can toss that ball anytime now.

Finally, my earrings are a sign to him that, sadly, I can’t play.

Maybe just a belly scratch?

Okay, Olliepeño. Just a belly scratch.

During all of this hullabaloo, Max is enjoying some non-Ollie time to himself in the other room.

This week’s theme is Holy Moly!

1. What gives you the heebie-jeebies?
Being approached from behind. Because of my bum ear, I don’t hear people walking close to me, especially in the office. Then when they start talking, I shoot through the ceiling. I startle so easily. I hate it. It’s not something you want to be when you work in an open plan office, that’s certain.

2. When were you most recently in double trouble?
Now, actually. It’s nonbloggable, so I’m moving on.

3. What puts you in the mood for some hanky-panky?
A sharp dressed man. Suit/suspenders/fedora/kilt, but not all at once, obviously. Also, Dave Matthews Band “Crush” or Wagner’s “Flight of the Valkyries.” Again, not both at once. But that’d be a neat mashup. Someone go do that for me.

4. What easy-breezy task is still a pain in the neck to accomplish?
Walking the dogs. It’s simple, in theory. The larger, nuttier dog is on a regular leash. The smaller, pokier dog is on a long retractable leash so he can be poky while we walk ahead. I carry my iPhone for tunes and a roll of bags for waste disposal.

In the summer it’s not so bad. But now it’s squirrel season and my dogs love to chase squirrels. I fully accept the responsibility for this bad habit I helped instill in them. But it’s taken my peaceful stroll and turned it into a cavalcade of NO.

5. What area in your life seems especially rife with mumbo-jumbo?
My job! (But I bet yours does too.) Lots of paperwork and arcane ways of doing things. Want to sell a new product? Fill out eighteen sheets of paper and wait forever ’til it gets into the system. They work in inches, not pixels so anything online has to be converted to inches for ordering/billing purposes. “How many pixels in an inch?” “Depends on your resolution. If you’re at 72 dpi then…” (other person passes out)

***
Wanna know how I spent last night? Copiously weeping at YouTube videos of Les Mis songs. I never saw the musical (I know, right?) but I read the book.

SPOILER ALERT (highlight that with your mouse): Almost everyone dies.

I’m glad I never went to see it. I’d be an absolute mess.

Today I think I’m going to live large and go to Old Navy. Tonight, more felt meat! Yay Friday!

Photographer: sloopjohnb via stock.xchng

Ew.

I turned where I always turn for girly advice (the internet) and apparently I’m supposed to use a base coat under dark colors. Good thing Fairy Teal has a base built in. Which didn’t work. Well, now I know. In the meantime I’m leaving them polish free and trying to hide my Statue of Liberty fingernails.

***

The dogs don’t eat unless I’m home. Even on the days that WM isn’t subbing and is home with them all day, they only eat when I’m there. I guess it’s a pack thing – that they’re not comfortable unless all of us are together. In any case, the “Mom’s home, let’s eat!” mentality is a bit disturbing. Charlie, on the other hand, eats constantly.

***

Here’s a newish pet peeve of mine: When somebody wants you to do something for them (or more likely instead of them) so they stand in front of what needs to be done and announce it. Now this is acceptable if the human is a child…

Young child: “Oh! Oh! The phone is ringing!”

But what I mean is…

Grown-ass adult: “Oh! Oh! The printer is beeping! It says it needs paper!”

do i hav 2 moov?

But the weekend itself wasn’t bad. On Saturday we went to the Franklin Institute and saw the Cleopatra exhibit. Two observations:

1) Most of the items on display were items that could have existed during Cleopatra’s reign. Cleopatra “may have used” this bowl.
2) There were placards about that urged us to share our experiences at the exhibit by Tweeting our friends (#Cleopatra), checking in with Foursquare (uh, no) and/or Facebook pages and taking mobile phone photos.

I can take photos? Cool!

Not Cleopatra

Not Cleopatra

Definitely NOT Cleopatra

Flashback!

The best part was a piece of papyrus with Cleopatra’s actual handwriting. She was ordering a tax break for Mark Antony’s friend. (sigh) The more things change…

After we were done with the exhibit, we went to the planetarium to see “The Sky Tonight.” I love the planetarium – I have since I went there on my 3rd grade field trip.

To the north of Leo, you can see the Douchebag Major constellation...

Then we saw the train room…

Come on ride the train, it's the choo-choo train!

Saw the giant pendulum…

Click the picture to learn more about the Foucault Pendulum

And zapped the hell out of each other in the Electricity room. No pictures of that because I was running for my life.

And because it was Space Week, there was a guest of dishonor…

There was a museum guest — a grown man — dressed as a Jedi, light saber and all. I wanted to tell him that the big ComicCon was actually 2 hours north. I mean really, this is a science museum. That was just weird.

Many thanks to Groupon for letting us snag tickets for half-price, too.

Charlie is unimpressed.

For me, this is slipping into Howard Hughes territory. Plus, I’m typoing a LOT on the keyboard lately and it’s bugging.

This picture was taken Sunday night. I’ve since painted them teal.

What do you think of dark nail polish? Is it tacky or trashy? I think they’re fine but last week I encountered some … lascivious … comments about dark fingernail polish which left me a little bit skeeved out.

My 20 year (weep!) high school reunion is being planned. Kudos to the ones who pulled it together, because I think we had over 500 in our graduating class. Anyway, it’s going to be $78 PER PERSON. Is this normal? It seems really pricey to me. At $78 pp, I may have to break WM’s heart by not taking him. I know he’s been looking forward to it.

I still miss my cat.

And finally, I want to thank you all for visiting. Commenters and lurkers, new folk and regulars, even those who don’t read at all anymore. I don’t have a niche topic or good traffic, but I love this odd little blog of mine. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy days to come by and share it.