In any case, it looks lovely…

These are ornaments, but they make a nice tableau on their own.

Our stockings.

I never thought I'd have a 'theme tree.' But it just happened that way.

Kill me now. KILL ME NOW!

And you know how I feel about Disney.

So when I first saw this adorable Mickey Mouse hand wash featured as part of a sponsored post series by Method, I nearly died from the unexpected Disney sighting and the cuteness. I wanted to order it immediately, but hemmed and hawed.

Then I saw the second post, featuring the adorable Olive. I discussed ordering the hand wash with WM. But I stopped short, because I thought paying shipping for soap was a bit over the top.

When I saw the final post, which included a giveaway, I was bouncing around in my chair like a nutcase, ready to enter. But I stopped short, because if I’m going to win ONE giveaway in my life, it’s not going to be for soap.

And then I ordered the damn soap myself. I ordered two Mickey Mouses.

And look what’s printed in tiny font on the back!

AAAA! Whistle while you wash! Can you HANDLE that cute? (smacks self in the face)

This is the part where I tell you that Method sponsored this post, except they didn’t. I just liked the design of the soap containers and bought them with my very own money. In fact, once the soap runs out, I’m going to keep reusing the dispensers with whatever hand wash is on sale at the time. So there. Hmpf.

Do you know who I am, marketers?

I’m STILL laughing…

• Caber tossing (KILT ALERT!!)
• Bocce
• Alligator wrestling
• Extinguishing fires on themselves
• Sumo training
• Atlasphere
• Escaping a constantly rolling boulder
• Keg tossing
• Dwarf tossing

Not USDA approved

Yeah. I’m going there.

***

After a few months of trying, I’m deeming my visual task list a failure. I was putting color coded Post-its on my wall at the office to try and show people how much work I had to do. Most people didn’t care and even when my wall was littered with notes I was still being asked why things weren’t done. It turned out to be a waste of money (I was buying my own notes). So it’s down and my wall is bare again.

***

I had a dream last night that I got a job at TMZ (site occasionally NSFW) and my first task was to write a story about Screech becoming baptized and being born again. My headline was: Saved from the Hell.

***

Are they vanity-sizing bras now? As in…upward?

Because I’ve always considered myself pretty average-of-rack and as of my most recent measuring I’m rocking a size now that seems over-the-top. It fits perfectly. It’s just…the size…wow.

***

WM’s sister is getting married tomorrow! It’s a super-small civil ceremony and they didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, so he’s driving out there to surprise them. Which leaves me with a bachelorette weekend.

Which I’ll be spending … cutting meat shapes from felt.

Friday!

1. When did you take time this week to play?

Funny, I really haven’t played ANYTHING this week. I haven’t logged into WoW since Sunday, believe it or not, and Farmville is more of a Zen garden experience than actual play.

2. This past week, what would you have liked to rewind so you could experience it again?

In keeping with our “Summer of Cheap”* we went to the Camden Riversharks game on Tuesday thanks to free tickets from work. After a rainy day it was a GORGEOUS night and we had a great time!

3. What happened this week to give you pause?

My boss gave his 2 week notice on Tuesday. Yeah. I’m bummed about that but I understand his wanting to move on. No, I’m not applying for the job. Been there, done that. Besides, I’m no longer qualified for the job I used to have because they added “proven sales experience” to the requirements. I have proven sales experience. It was proven to be bad.

So yay for more change! Zing. Since I’ve been asked to be “Acting Manager” during the transition period (Boss’s boss thinks I’m great), I asked for Monday and Tuesday off to snooze on my sofa, play with my beads and maybe hit the beach? Maybe? We’ll see.**

4. From what situation this week would you have liked to eject yourself?

Finding that Max had…accidents…in the kitchen while we slept one night. A bit of rice mixed in with his food pulled him back on track. But that moment when you FIND that kind of mess? EJECT!

5. In what situation this week did you cede power to someone else?

Erm…I signed my lease for another year here at the dee-luxe apartment in the sky. So my livelihood is somewhat-controlled by the whims and whimsies of the apartment management.

Example: Our air conditioners (both) have been broken since August and we FINALLY got them both replaced. At first, we were victim to a less-than-honest maintenance manager — “The List” we were on did not exist. Once she was let go, I tried to open a new ticket, but they stop replacing air units in the winter and told us to wait ’til spring. Two weeks ago I started calling the maintenance office every other day. Last week I started calling every day. On Tuesday I showed up at the maintenance office. The new manager promised she’d be SURE to get someone out yesterday. Yesterday I called and assumptively asked when I could expect someone to show up. (This is a level of persistence I’d have NEVER had in my 20s, by the way.) The living room unit was replaced yesterday afternoon. The bedroom one was replaced today.

At the moment, we have this place so cold I’m wearing knit socks, pants, t-shirt AND A SWEATER. I’m drinking hot coffee and am enjoying life.

***

* WM out of work + big family wedding in August = 2010 being the Summer of Cheap! We’re filling in our free time with free/cheap excursions. The summer festival season is awesome here in South Jersey. There’s always something free/cheap to do.

**I’m looking for a beach in Central-to-South NJ where I won’t be blanket-to-blanket with the rest of humanity. Probably without a boardwalk. Just a simple beach, y’know? I don’t even need lifeguards. Any suggestions?

While I was digging through I found a brand new pair of shoes that I forgot I even purchased.

I know the sock color choice is alarmingly poor charmingly eccentric but those are some sharp shoes!

In other news, 40 lbs need to be gone from my frame by end of July. It’s so incredibly doable. Right? RIGHT!?!?!?

So we (by then “I” became “we”) went to Bed, Bath & Beyond and, saddened that the Home Cafe was discontinued, bought a Senseo single-serving coffee maker. I didn’t love it as much, because it took longer to heat up the water and only brewed a 4 oz or an 8 oz cup (four ounce cup? Seriously? Who drinks only 4 ounces of anything?). I’d have to cycle it twice to fill my 12-oz travel mug. Plus, it was too small to accommodate that travel mug so I had to brew my coffee into my Pyrex measuring cup and then pour it into my mug.

After commisserating on the coffee issue, WM found a Home Cafe model on eBay. We bought that one & put the Senseo away. Life was good again and I had my mug filled in very little time and only one cycle.

‘Til one day my coffee tasted like burned dirt and melted rubber. The Home Cafe broke. The Senseo returned to the counter, and the stupid Pyrex measuring cup returned. To fill both our mugs for after-dinner coffee, we had to use 2 pods and go through 4 brew cycles.

This week, we did some thinking and realized that we could probably save money and time by ditching the pod system altogether and brewing a real POT of coffee.

Now meet the newest man in my life: Mr. Coffee:

Allo. I weel wake you up good tomorrow, yes?

It makes 12 cups of coffee in a 12-minute brew cycle. Plus, it’s programmable so I can set it to start brewing at 7:45 so I’ll be able to fill my mug at 8 to head out.

The coffee is a LOT stronger than the pods we’re used to, so we’re in the process of determining exactly how much we need to put into the pot.

Yes, Virginia, this is why I have a blog. To detail the boring minutiae of my life and to document that it has taken me 37 years to own a proper adult coffee pot.

I always feel like somebody's watching me...

Inspired by the plant that’s growing so quickly it will eventually eat my television, I drew eyes in Photoshop, taped the printouts to drinking straws and shoved them into the pot. I think this is about as “crafty” as I get.

Hey, guess what? I went to the gym THREE times in the last week. Wednesday, Friday & yesterday. Yesterday I started out on the elliptical machine and after 5 minutes, I had enough and had to switch to the treadmill. Remember when I could do 30 minutes on the elliptical? So do I. It’s pretty depressing. Stupid blog with its stupid deep archives.

Anyway, I did 5 on the elliptical, 20 on the treadmill, 10 bicep curls, 10 knee lifts (my knees sound like Rice Krispies when I do those) and 10 crunches. Tiny numbers, but I can’t wait to see them grow.

Can’t remember what I dreamed of last night, sadly.

We were going to go to the Xponential festival on Saturday, where we would have basked in the sun all day and taken in They Might Be Giants, among other neat bands.

And yeah, I said neat. They are neat.

Then today, we were going to have our usual Sunday breakfast at Starbucks, followed up by food shopping and I was going to bake the best from-scratch cupcakes ever. Chocolate cupcake, peanut butter frosting and Reeses’ cups level of good.

Given I had only baked cupcakes from scratch ONCE, these would have been guaranteed to be the best ever!

There would have been pictures galore of everything, taken with our nice GOOD camera. Perhaps even a nice new picture of me to replace Hostess whatever and my Facebook photo.

But alas, t’was not to be.

I started feeling sick on Friday and declined into a fevery stupor for the rest of the weekend.

Can’t go out and sit in 90-degree weather in full sun when you have a fever. (Well, I can’t…dunno about you.) Can’t bake cupcakes unless you want to infect your friends and loved ones.

So here is the only picture of what looked to be (through my window at least) the perfect summer weekend.

Not pictured: Zicam nose swabs & QVC’s Christmas in July 2-day spectacular.

At least I have off Tuesday & Wednesday to make up for my craptastic weekend.