Unfortunately, having a bento box sized apartment, we don’t have a lot of space for puzzles. But oh how I yearned to feel that familiar soft thuddy click of a puzzle piece sliding into place. So last weekend we bought a cheap card table and one folding chair at Target.

And a puzzle. Yes, shut up, a Disney puzzle. But what I really like about this one is that the characters are roughly placed in the geographic locations where their stories took place. So Mowgli is in India and Tiana’s in the US Southeast and the rest of the Princesses are taking part in #occupyEurope.

Naturally, the puzzle we chose is too darn long for the card table, so we’re doing it in halves. When we’re done we’re going to glue it together and forget about it in a closet put it on the wall somewhere.

And then we’ll go and get ANOTHER puzzle!

**
And hey, tomorrow around 9:15am EST, could you send me some positive “knock-em-dead, champ” vibes? Maybe hum the awesome beginning measures of “Welcome to the Jungle.” Dun-nuh-nuh-nuh! Dun-nuh-nuh-nuh! Dun-nuh-nuh-Dun-nuh-nuh-Duh-nuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhn. Thanks, all!

I’m so happy it’s Sunday because this past week was one of the worst ones I’ve had since 2006. Let’s have a crazy week in review…

1) Sunday: Father’s Day. Talk to Dad & learn that he’s having some nonbloggable (but not health) issues. Ugh.

2) Monday: Calm, which is good because I needed it for Tuesday…

3) Tuesday: More layoffs at the Courier-Post. We lost 13 that day including my manager, whose position was eliminated. This means more work for all of us. I don’t know how many times I can go through watching my friends and coworkers leave HR with teary eyes and an envelope.

Also, Tuesday was Mom’s first follow up post ankle break. She was told that the bones were healing wrong and she had to have surgery to pin it together. Plus, this resets her recuperation calendar. Grand!

4) Wednesday: Mom gets the call that her surgery will be Thursday. John* and Kristen take Mom to Jefferson in Philly for five hours of pre-admission testing.

Meanwhile, I get an email saying that I didn’t get a job I was hoping to get. I’ve been working that prospect for over 2 months. I made it through 2 interviews and didn’t get the job because I don’t know Drupal. Feh. I should really learn Drupal, I guess.

5) Thursday: Mom’s surgery. I take the day off. John and I leave her place at 5:15am and I don’t get home ’til after 8pm. Luckily, sugery goes very well and now the offending ankle is pinned and plated together. She’s back to “stay off your feet as much as you can for 2 weeks” meaning we’re all still going back and forth to make sure she’s fed and her dog is taken care of.

6) Friday: Back to work. The day is piles of crazy, because we’re all trying to adjust to being shorthanded again. It’s just a stinking sad day.

7) Saturday: WM (remember him? He’s awesome and wonderful because he’s been keeping my home fires burning and our dogs fed and happy while I’m running around like a nut. Everyone should have a WM.) and I go to the Celtic Fling at the PA Ren Faire site. We have a GREAT time until I’m felled by the Vile Goddess Menstrua. Now seriously…it’s been YEARS since I had cramps so bad that I’ve had to mention her. Plus I’m remotely trying to fix some advertising problems that I have no control over anymore.

Along the way, I gnawed off all of my fingernails, hemorrhaged cash, exceeded my text message allotment and was hit with a round of stress-induced rosacea.

But today’s a new week. Right now I’m off to Mom’s to take care of the lunch & dinner duties. Tomorrow I’ll go to work and try to juggle some more responsibilities.

*John’s week was worse than mine – he took last week off entirely to just chill at home. Worst. Vacation. Ever.

Because it’s Friday Five Day! And while Mom’s laid up with a cast, the sun has been relentless, Camden burns, the world is full of weiner jokes, some seriously neat nonbloggable stuff is going on and my workplace looks somewhat like this on any given day:

Still from Cockeyed Caravan

…the blog must go on. This week’s theme is “What goes in…” And here we go!

1. What goes into your coffee or tea?
Bailey’s Irish Creme flavored creamer. Or real Bailey’s, depending on the time of day.

2. What goes into a good omelet?
I like veggie omelets. So peppers, mushrooms, onions, tomatoes and a bit of broccoli. And cheese.

3. What goes into your ears on a good morning?
My iPhone earbuds, which deliver enough music to drown out a sales floor full of super chatty sales reps.

4. What goes into a healthy but yummy lunch?
Yanno…I’m starting to think that a healthy lunch can’t be yummy. I make a salad, it turns out to be a billion calories. I make a fruit smoothie, I end up using too much fruit and it’s more calories than if I’d have a power bar. I have a low-calorie lunch and it tastes like wood.

5. What goes into a productive evening?
About 18″ of beading wire, some crimps, clasps and a handful of shiny beads. And some Bailey’s!

(Spike your coffee wisely. No driving after spiking your coffee.)

Screaming Banshee, from Hallmark

I had a great Memorial Day weekend. I took Friday off and Mom & I went to Ocean City. I was off Monday anyway, but upon return to work Tuesday, I was immediately behind the 8-ball with stuff to do.

The weirdness started out on Wednesday night when a friend of the family passed out at her job. She was put on life support, but was brain dead. At only 50 years old. It’s sobering and sad and I feel heavy pangs of sadness for her survivors.

Then on Thursday, I got a phone call that Mom was in an ambulance heading to a hospital.

Wha?

She stumbled during a field trip and broke her ankle. She’s in a partial cast and using crutches. Her orthopedic follow-up is Tuesday afternoon. I’m pleased, because the doctor we’ll be seeing is associated with the Rothman Institute, known around here for skillfully reassembling South Jerseyans. But no matter what the doctor says, she’ll be off her foot for a bit. John and I and Kristen and WM and Mom’s friends are all pitching in and helping out, but it’s still chaotic. Tomorrow, I’ll swing by there before work to feed Chip, let him out, and get her settled for the morning. My brain is on hyperdrive trying to come up with crutch-friendly ways for her to go through her daily life without having to depend too much on other people showing up.

Work is a hot mess because I’m super-HYPER behind from missing most of Thursday, on top of the Monday & Friday before. And I’ll be off Tuesday afternoon, too. Yikes! I pre-emptively worked 2 hours on something today so I’d be set for a meeting tomorrow morning. (And so I can count the 2 hrs toward leaving early Tuesday & any other time I might need to leave to take care of something for her.)

And I have something else cooking too. Just can’t blog about it. No, it’s not a baby.

Oh, and everyone at work seems to think we’ll be having layoffs again before the month is out. Whatever. At least it’s summer.

But none of this is BAD, just chaotic. I used to pirouette gracefully when everything around me was up in the air but as I move more toward the “get off my lawn” stage of life, unpredictability leaves me cranky and short-tempered.

Anyway, dear CookieCrumbs, if you have tips on how to make crutching around any easier for a lovely lady, leave them below.

Funny thing is that 3 years post-picture, my hair's almost that style again.

Welcome, everyone new! I’m not a mom blog and not a food blog and not even a design blog. This piece of virtual real estate is about an ordinary life in South Jersey. And that picture of me on the BlogHer page is easily 3 years old. I should update that. Heh!

But without further ado…the Friday Five! Today’s topic is “Horsies!”

1. What are your feelings about horses?

I LOVE horses, but I’m not in the area (geographically or financially) to interact with them regularly. But when I was small, I had some of those “Breyer” knockoff horses. They’d play with Barbie’s horse, who was named Dallas at the time. And who is apparently so stinking old that he’s in a museum.

2. How far would you have to go if you wanted to ride a merry-go-round?
Campbell’s Field – home of the Camden Riversharks – is about 5 miles away. But I wouldn’t do that because I’m one of those fogies that believe that if you go to a ballgame, you should watch the ballgame.

3. When did you last eat something containing pinto beans?
I had a Chipotle burrito on Wednesday. Nom.

4. How’s your mane?
Teriffic, actually! I trimmed off the dead ends and after over nine months of trying to grow out my natural color I bought a bottle of hair dye and my color looks natural and even! (Garnier Light Golden Brown aka “Brown Sugar”)

5. When did you last go hoarse?
All week long, as I’ve been suffering from an early appearance of my yearly June cold.

I’ve become a subscriber to Better Homes & Gardens magazine. That seems odd since I have neither a home nor a garden, but a one-year subscription was offered to me at $5. FIVE DOLLARS. I couldn’t turn it down. If such a venerable magazine is selling itself for only $5, it’s in trouble and I need to help save it. Viva print media!

The January issue is all about decluttering and becoming better organized. One of the ways BHG is offering to help is by giving us FREE labels for laundry baskets.

If you are into this kind of thing, click the picture to go download. You will have to register at BHG.com, though.

I guess it’s handy to separate laundry while it’s being collected, but I’m not at that point yet. If I was, though, here’s what my label setup would look like.

That/'s more like it!

***

Summing up since I saw you last: We (humans AND dogs) went to Michigan to spend Christmas with WM’s people. It was my first Christmas EVER not at home. It was hard, but I had a nice time. “Fair and Balanced” might be mocked when it comes to news, but I think it has value in relationships. Also, I’m trying not to repeat past mistakes. I spent NYE and NY day at home, reading. New Year is my holiday — the one holiday I don’t go anywhere.

I’ve been off of work since December 22nd and while I fully expect to see my desk and surrounding file cabinet in flames when I return tomorrow, it’s been nice having such an extended vacation. I wonder if they make elastic-waist workpants?

Today’s prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

In 2010 we joined a church! I don’t write about religion often here because it makes people uncomfortable and that makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want that. And most religious views on the Internet fall into 2 categories:

>> 1) The image of Jesus on my tire treads told me to hate you
>> 2) You Christians have the intellectual potential of an amoeba and that’s why I’m better than you. FSM ftw!

But I was baptised Catholic and remained a Christian once I parted ways with Vatican City. And while I’m not following the proper Christian lifestyle at the moment (shifty eyes) that’s where my soul calls home. Faith doesn’t have to make sense. That’s why it’s faith.

We went on a Church Search last year and stumbled into an Episcopalian church with a giant “No Perfect People Allowed” sign staked into the lawn. But that’s a bit of a fib, because the people there are perfect for me. (I’d say “us” but I don’t like speaking for WM on my own blog. But he goes every week too.)

In 2011, I’d like to join the community of multi-million dollar lottery winners.

One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

Disappointment.

>> And I know it sounds maudlin, but really, 2010 was disapppointing for many reasons, such as:
>> Despite a forest’s worth of resumes and cover letters sent out, WM has yet to find a full time job. He’s subbing, which sucks.
>> I thought the paper was doing better, but was disappointed to find that not only were we not doing better, but there was another round of furloughs.
>> The unresolved thyroid crap. I’ve taken myself off of the medicine entirely and feel fine. No more sleepy, no more freezing, etc. But I’m disappointed that I felt like crap for the entire spring and summer. I’m going to make an endocrinologist appointment in January.

>> I was disppointed by some people this year, too. Just, stuff.

(WHOOOSH!)

Whoa! It’s 2011! Neat! This is a cute hairstyle!

2011 was triumphant! How could it not be?

>> WM has a great classroom of kids this year.
>> My job is troublesome still, but I’m supplementing my income with a fledgling jewelry business.
>> We’re paying off all of our debts and are finding extra money everywhere!
>> Did I mention that we could also afford a vacation again. What a blast!
>> And I finally did that thing that I was afraid to do. You know that thing? From earlier in the year? Done. And it was great.

Too bad the world’s ending in 2012.

Yesterday we had a lovely dinner at Kristen’s parents’ home. More food than you could feasibly eat in one meal, and I was stuffed silly. Today is Black Friday, and while Mom & I didn’t go out at 5am like in years past (Stores were opening here at 3! I’m not going out at 3am. And if we went out at 5am, we’d already be 2 hours behind the rest, so may as well sleep in, head out at 10 and call it good.) it cut into the writing time.

So here I am, formerly ahead, now trying to catch up.

On our travels today, I bought this little guy from Starbucks. His real name is Huxley and he’s a writer mouse.

Squeeky squeeky! Here's some candy if you write!

But we’ve renamed him Nano and you may think he’s sweet for offering me a Hershey’s kiss if I make 2000 words tonight. But Nano is an intimidating force to be reckoned with. This is what he does when you’re not looking.

I will paint my face with your blood!

So, uh, I’ll get back to writing now. (shiver) I have 42,103 words written. Tuesday is the last day.

This week’s theme is Holy Moly!

1. What gives you the heebie-jeebies?
Being approached from behind. Because of my bum ear, I don’t hear people walking close to me, especially in the office. Then when they start talking, I shoot through the ceiling. I startle so easily. I hate it. It’s not something you want to be when you work in an open plan office, that’s certain.

2. When were you most recently in double trouble?
Now, actually. It’s nonbloggable, so I’m moving on.

3. What puts you in the mood for some hanky-panky?
A sharp dressed man. Suit/suspenders/fedora/kilt, but not all at once, obviously. Also, Dave Matthews Band “Crush” or Wagner’s “Flight of the Valkyries.” Again, not both at once. But that’d be a neat mashup. Someone go do that for me.

4. What easy-breezy task is still a pain in the neck to accomplish?
Walking the dogs. It’s simple, in theory. The larger, nuttier dog is on a regular leash. The smaller, pokier dog is on a long retractable leash so he can be poky while we walk ahead. I carry my iPhone for tunes and a roll of bags for waste disposal.

In the summer it’s not so bad. But now it’s squirrel season and my dogs love to chase squirrels. I fully accept the responsibility for this bad habit I helped instill in them. But it’s taken my peaceful stroll and turned it into a cavalcade of NO.

5. What area in your life seems especially rife with mumbo-jumbo?
My job! (But I bet yours does too.) Lots of paperwork and arcane ways of doing things. Want to sell a new product? Fill out eighteen sheets of paper and wait forever ’til it gets into the system. They work in inches, not pixels so anything online has to be converted to inches for ordering/billing purposes. “How many pixels in an inch?” “Depends on your resolution. If you’re at 72 dpi then…” (other person passes out)

***
Wanna know how I spent last night? Copiously weeping at YouTube videos of Les Mis songs. I never saw the musical (I know, right?) but I read the book.

SPOILER ALERT (highlight that with your mouse): Almost everyone dies.

I’m glad I never went to see it. I’d be an absolute mess.

Today I think I’m going to live large and go to Old Navy. Tonight, more felt meat! Yay Friday!