Dreaming of Putin

Happy Friday! This begins a three-day weekend for me as TNP is closed on Monday. Not much on the docket other than having Mom’s birthday dinner.

This week I brought my own meal 3 days, ate a work-provided lunch one day, and got a lunch from the cafeteria today. I also ate my own breakfast every day. Two days this week I did 40 minutes worth of walking and today I walked about 25 minutes. As you might be able to tell over the last few weeks, I’m trying to save money by eating my own food at work, and get some more low-impact movement into my life.

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Friday means it’s also time for the Friday Five. This week’s topic is critcism.

1. How well do you receive criticism?

I take criticism like a frightened puppy. My yearly review is coming in a few weeks and I’m pretty nervous. But what are you going to do? I think I did a good job this year, but I know there are places I need to improve. I’ll sign the paper and move on. But the thought of listening to my weaknesses for an hour and seeing them on paper … ugh. No thanks.

2. When did someone else’s criticism of you result in growth?

Years ago, I worked in the Junior’s Department at JCPenney. My manager told me one day never to wear white tights as an adult, because they make your legs look bigger and because white tights are a very little-girl thing to wear. That made me the fashion mogul I am today. (eyeroll)

You really can’t say anything to me that would result in personal growth that I don’t already know. If I’m not already making strides to grow where I already need growth, you’re not automatically going to make me change. It sounds self-centered, but it’s true. I believe too many people think they’re being helpful by being critical, as if I’m going to have a moving Hallmark moment if you tell me I need to work on my confidence when speaking front of a group. No poop! Really? I NEVER knew I had no confidence speaking in front of a group. I thought everyone had nausea and shaking, sweating hands!

In other words, I believe people use the phrase “constructive criticism” when there really is no constructive part. They just want to criticize.

Yeesh, that was rambly.

3. What do you think of film critics?

I’m not a movie person, but if somebody likes movies I think being a film critic has to be a darn cushy job for them. Me? Three and a half hours in a dark chilly theater with a bunch of strangers and an hour of ads ain’t my thing and I’d probably give all the movies 2 stars.

4. What’s something you’d like to make a critical statement about right now?

The people on the Carnival Cruise ship that was just towed to shore. Sure, your vacation literally stunk. You were looking forward to it for a long time and you are disappointed. And I feel ya, even though I never stayed on a literal poopdeck. But really…you’re getting your money back, plus more money to spend on Carnival if you so choose. You weren’t in danger. The boat was stinking, not sinking. I saw a photo of someone kissing the ground in Alabama and my eyes haven’t rolled back since.

So when I read that a Texan woman said the cruise was like the Hunger Games … yeeeeeeeeeeeah, no.

I didn’t read the Hunger Games or see the movie, but I’m pretty sure Katniss wasn’t given hamburgers or a fluffy bath robe. And I’m positive that the children on the ship weren’t killing each other for sport.

Hey Carnival! Have a sale on cruises!

5. Who’s the most critical person you know?

(smirks)

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I had a dream last night that troubled me. It wasn’t a disturbing dream on the surface, but rather I was disturbed by what I had said.

Let’s say that in my dream I’m in bed with Vladmir Putin. I roll over and say dreamily to him, “In your arms, I feel like a musical instrument that’s finally being played by a true virtuoso.” We drink some Fruit Loop vodka and pull up the covers.

That was not the dream I had, nor was it a dream that I have EVER had, nor was it remotely similar to the dream I had. But the words I spoke in my real were mine, so I’m disturbed that somewhere in my weird brain I would have thought of saying what I said. Ergh. I just have to file last night’s non-Putin dream away with the dreams I’ve had of owning a flock of geese or fighting insurgents in the Pinelands. They’re not actual wishes…just mindless brain entertainment.

Have a happy weekend!