So? How was the parade?

Posted November 1st, 2008 by Kimberly Dowd

Because I sure as heck saw nothing.

Details of how it went down are after the jump…it’s picture heavy and even has a video, so I don’t want it all slowing down my home page…clicky clicky!

I left right after I posted yesterday – 10am. I went to WaWa, skipped the merchandise stand and drove to the closest Speedline station, which is Collingswood. I saw no parking and the line for tickets was out to the parking lot. I moved to the Westmont station, which is 1 stop further away from Philly than Collingswood. No parking. Drove to Woodcrest, which is 3 stops back from Collingswood. No parking. At that point, I parked on the side of the road, locked the car and dashed to the station. Thee had to be 500 people in line in front of me.

Yeesh. At that point, I decided to forgo the street portion of the parade, and get the subway to the ballpark for the grand finale. Forty-five minutes later, I had a round trip PATCO ticket and round trip subway transfers in hand. The trains were coming by every 10 or so minutes.

We crammed onto the train. The train lurched its way through the rest of the stations and into Philadelphia. There were three or four sudden stops, which was scary. Once we made it to 12/13th and Locust, it seemed like the whole train exited at once. They had a gentleman at the turnstiles taking our Patco tickets and putting them into the machine for us. He took mine and put it through quickly, before the passenger in front of me departed the gate. Passenger in front of me took both his ticket and mine by accident. When the PATCO employee hustled me through the gate, I protested that I didn’t have a ticket. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you home,” he replied. Meaning I was out another $2.30 because I had to buy a return ticket.

Meanwhile, at the SEPTA Broad Street line station, travelers packed the platform and every train.

I couldn’t make it onto the first 5 trains that came through. Thanks to the helpful unruly mob, I was shoved onto the 6th train. The unruly mob then shoved us all out. The seventh and eighth trains went by without stopping. Then SEPTA made the announcement that due to overcrowding on trains and in stations, they couldn’t take anyone else onto the Broad Street Line trains.

Disbelief and anger reigned. A “F**K you, SEPTA” chant broke out, and that was my cue to leave. The angry mob pushed up the stairwell. At that point, I had been underground close to 2 hours, so I decided to head up to the street for air. I ended up on the corner of Juniper Street. By the time I made it to Broad Street, the parade…had passed.

This is where you all say, “Awww…”

Sure, I could have tried to catch a bus to another bus to a third bus and head to the ballpark, but I didn’t know how long that would take or if the buses were even running. But sometimes, there is no shame in throwing in the towel.

Anyway, the streets were full of people. Happy people, laughing people, and yes, some drunk people. It was magic. Old people hugged young people, white people hugged black people, cops were laughing at drunks. A few guys on trumpets were playing “When the Saints Go Marching In” from the upper floor windows of the Merriam Theater. People were still tossing confetti and shredded paper on us from the office windows.

Hey, look! It’s Anthony and Glen from the 610 WIP midday show!!!

And…I got to see a guy headbutt a portapotty. With someone inside it.

It looks like the guy inside the portapotty shoved the wrong guy when he emerged. But the shovee actually headbutted it himself twice before his friend headbutted it the third time.

I could go on and describe the beastly process it was to buy my return PATCO ticket and come home, but it was frustrating. It took me about an hour and a half, but I made it home.

I have not looked up the parade on YouTube. I have not looked at pictures of it. I have not read accounts of it. Someday I will. Not yet.

Things I’ll do differently next time, 28 years from now when I am 64. (Will ya still need me? Will ya still feed me?)

• I will buy PATCO tickets the day before the parade, and skip the befuddled suburban folk who only take the trains once every 5 years.
• I will leave home earlier. I didn’t think I’d have to leave earlier than 10 to get to the park by 1:45. I was wrong.
• Actually, unless PATCO and SEPTA have transitioned to monorails or hovercraft by then, I will just drive and pay the obscene parking fees.

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